A Raw Look at Life as a Founder Mum
Hello world,
I write this as I sit in my garden on an unusually hot May day, laptop on my knee, and my beautiful 12-week-old daughter staring at me from the £35 swinging chair I bought to buy myself 20 minutes of quiet. It’s working. Thank God. But I’ll be quick.
Four years into running my own marketing agency, things were going great guns. In the months prior, we’d sharpened our proposition, built a solid business plan, launched a revamped brand, and the hard work was paying off. Falling pregnant was amazing news personally, but the timing professionally? Not ideal. But at 38, I didn’t have the luxury of waiting. I just had to make it work.
Timeline of Chaos: How We Got Here
The run-up was particularly hectic with the opening of our first international office. Here’s how it went:
- November 24: Launched our new brand and website
- December 24: Flew to Singapore, six months pregnant
- January 25: Opened the Singapore office
- February 25: Had a baby, three weeks early
- March 25: Back to work
Yes, it was as much fun as it sounds, especially the 11-hour return flight.
Feeling the Antinatal Mum-Shaming.
During pregnancy, other mums would ask, “How long do you get for maternity leave?” Or say things like, “You’ll be off all summer! Amazing.”
“Sadly not,” I’d reply. “I’m self-employed.”
Cue the look of horror.
It felt like I was being judged. People assumed I was choosing corporate life over time with my child. I’ll be honest, if the business could have afforded it, I’d have taken leave in a heartbeat. But we’re not at that size yet, and could I risk stepping back after nearly five years of hard graft?
I planned to have a month off, as in “off-off”, which wasn’t helped by the baby’s early arrival (you can imagine the handover). Then, planned to edge back in gradually.
I managed about ten days after the birth before the messages started popping up, on days when I struggled to walk and washing my hair felt like a serious achievement. I declined most of them, but the guilt was real.
Returning to Work: Reactions and Realities
It’s fair to say I was naive about how quickly I would bounce back. Especially after a c-section and a tiny baby who needed 2-3 hour feeds 24/7. The physical pain and readjustment were one thing. But the mental side was intense.
Finding yourself crying uncontrollably at a TikTok of an unassuming woman doing well in a Britain’s Got Talent audition from 5 years ago is a strange place to be. Then having to act like a functional and competent businesswoman on the same day? No chance.
Navigating Guilt and Growth
By week five, I was easing back into it. But I also wanted to get some form of maternity leave experience, so I signed up for the typical “mum socials”: baby sensory, massage, coffee, and cake meetups (secretly hoping to find someone keen on sneaking off for a wine).
Don’t get me wrong, I met some nice people, but when I told them I’d returned to work, their shock was palpable. One self-employed woman gave me a look of disgust, and mum-splained to me she’d saved enough to take nine months off and “couldn’t dream” of missing out on this time. I felt like crap.
Work-wise. Thankfully, babies sleep. I can work from home. And I’ve got brilliant colleagues and clients who don’t mind a baby guest-starring on calls.
New business on the other hand, is trickier. I’ve taken calls with a baby strapped to me in a sling, camera carefully angled, chin-up while I bounce rhythmically to get her to sleep. God knows what the clients think.
What I’ve Learned (So Far)
- Babies are like clients: They don’t know what they want.
- Multitasking is real: Feeding whilst typing is now a life skill.
- Fake it till you make it: Sling + camera angle = presentable professionalism.
- The guilt doesn’t go away: Not fully “on” at work, not fully “present” as a mum.
- But… compromise is key:
- I ditched the mum socials. Not my vibe, and I don’t need the side-eyes.
- I accepted that some days the house will be an absolute sh*t-tip.
- I cancelled the gym membership (again).
Would I love a year off with full pay? Of course. But would I trade that for the freedom I’ve built? No chance.
Ultimately, I know everything I’m doing is for her. I’m building a business to shape her future, one that gives me flexibility now and, in the long term, something I can grow or sell to support our family.
Why I’m Sharing This
Honest answer? Not sure. I just needed to write something after being MIA for a while, and my ‘thought-leadership’ chops are somewhat lacking at the moment.
Am I looking for solidarity from other founder-mums? Absolutely.
Am I using my child to revive my LinkedIn engagement after being off? Possibly.
Do I care? Not really.
Here we are. Needs must.
The answer to the age old question of “can you do it all”? Absolutely not. You can do what you can. And that’s cool.
So to all the working mums out there. I see you. And if you’re up for a wine and a bit of real talk, hit me up.
